Oi Vey... When we got married I decided not to change my name at all. You'd THINK it would make things simpler. But I still had problems with the banks refusing to take checks made out to "Mr. & Mrs. HisLast" or "Cynthia & Nick HisLast" even though both our names are on the account, the town clerk sent our marriage certificate -- the one that clearly states both our names-- to Mr. & Mrs. HisLast. However, Thomas' friends call Nick "Mr. MyLast" which makes me chuckle although he does not find amusing at all.

Oi Vey... When we got married I decided not to change my name at all. You'd THINK it would make things simpler. But I still had problems with the banks refusing to take checks made out to "Mr. & Mrs. HisLast" or "Cynthia & Nick HisLast" even though both our names are on the account, the town clerk sent our marriage certificate -- the one that clearly states both our names-- to Mr. & Mrs. HisLast. However, Thomas' friends call Nick "Mr. MyLast" which makes me chuckle although he does not find amusing at all.

After changing my name via a marriage...post divorce, i reverted back to my maiden name. I may marry again....but will keep my maiden (OMG what an antiquated term) name forever.
I yam what i am.

In my family we actually change our middle names along with our last names when we get married.
Example:

Miss (First Name) (Middle Name) (Maiden Last Name)

Becomes

Mrs. (First Name) (Maiden Last Name) (Married Last Name)

So, our maiden name becomes our new middle name and our new last name is the same as our husband's.
Am I just completely making this confusing? I hope not. :-)

Basically, the idea is to be able to keep your maiden name and get your new married name too.

So, I'm pretty sure I have it worse: Melnyk-Vutrano? But after 6 years, I'm used to it, and it really hasn't messed up anything important. It's annoying, but I'm okay with it. I never thought it was worth going through the hassle of changing it AGAIN.

Down to the office, getting a new SS, changing all my work documents, insurance documents... good luck with that one. I had major problems getting my insurance company to pay my doctor when I changed my name when I got married. But the problems were about the legal act of changing it--not because the name was confusing. I know this because I moved twice since then, changed jobs/doctors/insurance co.s, etc. and that particular issue never came up again.

Besides, I'm still hung up on keeping my maiden name first--so that people can always find me. And that I'll always be a Melnyk first. But then when Baby V comes, I will share Vutrano with him/her--we'll all be connected.

But anyway--I'm babbling. If for you it's all causing too much trouble, then you have to do what you have to do. Good luck, from one hyphentated wife to another.

I had considered the idea of changing my middle name to my maiden name...the only thing was that I didn't want to give up my middle name, as I feel like it's something that my parents gave to me. I'm too lazy right now to change all my documents- I just went through the process of changing everything with a new address- but I am considering just not using one of the names in common conversation. Kind of like saying my name is Joe when it's really Joseph.

Also, people couldn't pronounce Trancho to begin with, and some people have trouble with Robie as well (Robby?). Maybe Lex and I should just change both of our last names to Smith.

I couldn't sympathize with you more. I always get "Mel-ink" and "VuLtrano" and really lazy people who glance at the name and don't even try (hello, have they ever head of a hyphen before?). At work I go with Melnyk--it's just less confusing for phone and email when I'm talking to new business contacts. But then when I do everyday things like making reservations, signing non-legal documents... or just socially, I go by Vutrano.
I feel the same way about my (our) middle name. I'm glad neither of us abandoned our middle name given to us by very special Nancy's (and husbands).
:)

i originally changed to just his last name but it immediately felt weird, so i then went and added mine back in. so legally i'm tina (middle name) (maiden name) (his last name), no hyphen. it makes it easier for people to feel like i have just one last name, but i still feel like my name is intact. i sign my name with my first name, two middle initials, then his last name. seems to have worked well so far, although there is a part of me that hates the whole name changing thing in general.

I also know several people with hyphened names and think it's commonplace now. Some people just have more trouble with things, or everything, than others.

I think Trancho-Robie is easy to say and understand. A friend changed her last name when her mom got remarried to originallastname-mom'snewmarriedlastname, which are both longish and an "U-O" combo. I stopped trying to pronounce and just say "ooooo-oh". She's already said when she gets married she'll just take his last name.

I completely changed my last name when I got married. Bear in mind, though, that my maiden name happened to also be the name of a common life-saving, very important - yet clearly gynecological in nature - exam (although spelled slightly differently).
However, my married last name happens to also be a first name for women (if spelled differently). This results in constant confusion when I tell people my last name; they say "no, your LAST name. That's your LAST name?" It also gets misspelled a lot. To tell you the truth I did not anticipate this!

i feel your pain. my medical records were lost when my previous doctor's staff filed me, carrie k-g, under "g," and then argued that i had failed to make my last name clear. (?) the best, though, came last year when i relocated from brooklyn to the south to attend law school. a fellow student asked my last name, and then gave me a puzzled look when he heard two names. he seemed bewildered when he asked if i had both my parents' last names, and i explained that i was married and had hyphenated. nonplussed, he blurted out, "why couldn't you just take your husband's name? and what does he think about it?"

I kept my name but hyphenated my kid. Hope he doesn't hate me. Hopefully there will be even more people with hyphenates by then. I know one or two women who have hyphenated but not many, admittedly. I told my husband I would hyphenate if he would and he wouldn't. So that was that. My one close hyphenated friend has a husband who hyphenated along with her.

I am only three months late to discover you are blogging again--a good example of how my internet-reading is really suffering due to work.

(belated hooray!)

I hyphenated, and it generally hasn't caused me any problems. At my polling place, they asked me where they should look up my last name, and I told them to try W first, and if that didn't work, they should try L. Luckily, it was under w!

The only big problem I've had is at work, where my name change got submitted to IT as what I can only assume is a new-hire. They gave me a new email address without my knowledge. It was a much bigger deal to get it combined with my old email (that I used on a regular basis) than I felt it should be. Of course, I feel that that as more of an issue of changing my name at all than hyphenating, as I think that the only way I could have avoided this would have been to keep my "maiden" name.

When my daughter was born 14 years ago I changed my name and enjoyed being a family under one umbrella. Things like health insurance and banking were gloriously easy.
One day last year someone tried to find me to buy a photograph created under my maiden name but I had sort of created a cross reference to find me on the internet. Then I went back to school and they just couldn't put my old transcript with the new me.

So what do I do now - I now live fluctuating back and forth between the names, sometimes using both (not hyphenated). It can sometime work to your advantage to keep your old self and new self in circulation. This year I was even called for jury duty twice.
In the end they can always find you by your SS no.

When I married I legally changed my name to (First Name) (Maiden Name) (Husband's Last Name). Many women do this and I thought I was keeping my family name alive and keeping my mother-in-law happy.

The problem I have is insisting that my middle (maiden) name be spelled out INSTEAD of using an initial. Social security and drivers license folks were ok, but banks, investments - they all want to make it an initial instead of spelling it out.

When buying a car recently, I explained in great detail that this was a deal-breaker and the salesman was cool. Went to sign the contract and it was a middle initial. Tried explaining to the contract man and he belittled me.

I walked out. No car, but with my full name spelled out. The dealership manager called me back twice and even drove out to my house to try to close the deal. "No problem, we'll spell it however you want it..."

Yeah? So why didn't you do this in the first place?!

Bought a car at another dealership after telling them the whole story. They did their contract with my correct name.

Sigh.... names can be hard for other folks to understand I guess......

But now I explain "if you cannot spell out my middle name, I won't do business with you." That usually works. Except with Buick dealers.

When I got married I went with (First)(Middle)(Maiden)(Married). Complicated, yes, but what I wanted. I even suggested we mix our names teh way you did with LexCor, but it would be parts of our last names. Sometimes I am listed by (Maiden), sometimes (Married), some places have me hyphenated, but I live in a small town and for the most part I don't have much trouble. Our future children will only have my married name. Unless we have a boy, then he might get my maiden name as a middle name.

In my town we have tons of people who hyphenate. I even have 2 friends who grew up with hyphenated names who married. I thought it would be funny if they had become Smith-Jones-Brown-Miller, but no, they went with his names.

How do you go about "legally" changing your middle name to your maiden name, or even adding your maiden name as a 2nd middle name? I'm debating on what to do when we get married. I am self employed and my clients know me with my maiden name, plus checks are written out to my maiden name and just getting them to change over is a pain. I have heard if you make it your middle name you can go by either last name...not sure if that is correct. If you hyphenate, can you go by either last name or do you have to use both last names on papers, loans, etc? I'm just trying to figure out how I can use my maiden name only with my business and not have problems at the bank, then I will use my married last name outside of my business. Any suggestions on the best way to handle this?