Many lessons were learned, mostly having to do with work and personal relationships, but the simplest one- the most basic and urban, the one that I grew to love so much in later years- the physical and social beauty of the city- remained untapped until my return in 1999. A lot happened during my senior year; I was undoubtedly a different person when I came back to live and work on my own as an “official” graduate and adult. In turn, New York was a totally different world to me, one that I embraced alone through long walks down avenues, gazing intently at building facades, skylines, and the people around me.

A few weeks ago, my mother reported that my old building in the Village had changed. I walked by recently and, sure enough, it had been renovated. All of those beautiful old casement windows had been removed, replaced with modern ones that could hold air conditioners. I stood on the corner of 8th and Mercer, looking up at the 12th floor, something that I would do every day on my way home from work ten years ago to see if the light in our apartment was on. The building looked oddly foreign. I flashed to a memory of myself perched in the kitchen window, watching the only brief snowfall of ‘97/’98 coat the cars below.

Perhaps when I get older, ten years won’t feel like such a chasm, but for now, the span is incredibly wide. At 19, I remember thinking back a decade and realizing that I had been just a child, but for some reason that impact was much less striking than that of being almost 30, looking back at the last year of my teens. I’m pretty sure that this has to do with the comparison of early adulthood (or at least the year leading up to it) and full-blown adult, and of course, the ultimate realization that from now on, looking back on a decade will always be me as an adult- just a younger one.

I really wish I had known about those casement windows being removed. I would have hung around the dumpsters and tried to salvage one for posterity.

** Why such nostalgia, you ask? My life is still governed by the academic calendar and this week was move-in/orientation day for first year students. There's something about seeing those slightly petrified, very excited faces that always sends me through the way-back machine.