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July 13, 2006
Good Morning
I seem to have lost my ability to sleep on the train. This is a change in pattern that warrants some mourning, as there is nothing like a good half-conscious snooze to make a forty-five minute commute breeze by. The upside is that I am reading and listening to new music a lot more. That is a good thing.
A very interesting book on the history of preservation commandeered the first thirty minutes of my commute this morning. I was happy and oblivious. At some point, I became aware of things touching my legs on both sides. I looked up to find that I was flanked by two of the widest men I have seen in a long time. Both were asleep with their legs splayed, as if their balls were so big that they could not possibly keep them in the polite neighbor position, thereby taking up two and a quarter seats each, the quarter being mine, leaving me with a meager half. One was snoring, the other drooling. I found it quite humorous, though there was this nagging feeling that maybe I should jump off the express a little early and catch the local. I shrugged the urge off in favor of my book.
Seconds later, I found myself enveloped in one of the foulest human-made smells that I have had the misfortune of inhaling. But it was not just the scent. The gas was warm. I was sitting in a noxious pocket of sleep-fart and it was motherfucking gross.
Even now, an hour later, I am sitting at my desk trying to figure out if I smell like flatulence. I want to go home and take a shower.
Posted by callalillie at July 13, 2006 9:30 AM | City Life , This is Not Your Living Room
Callalillie, your descriptions of NY in the summer make this former southern California girl want to stay safely in her NJ suburban neighborhood. I seem to always encounter gas passing A-Holes at the book store!
Posted by: Catnip1996 at July 13, 2006 9:44 AM
Ha ha. This guy's gas passing was totally by mistake (I really do think that he was dead asleep). I hope it doesn't scare you from NY in summer. There is much grossness, indeed, but a lot of fun...not to mention good fodder for conversation.
Posted by: corie at July 13, 2006 11:04 AM
ahh, nothing like a nice fart bubble.
Posted by: tien at July 13, 2006 11:20 AM
Posted by: breana at July 13, 2006 11:26 AM
I absolutely hate it when guys refuse to tighten up their legs a bit, and I'm a guy. I mean, come on, your ability to reproduce is not going to be affected by just the slightest pressure from your pant legs. Be a man and leave some room for your neighbor!
Posted by: CitySpecific at July 13, 2006 12:03 PM
Posted by: Liz at July 13, 2006 12:40 PM
Posted by: Runs With Scissors at July 13, 2006 1:56 PM
