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| Skirting the Issue
June 14, 2006
Gone Baby Gone, the Blog was Gone
Yesterday I accidentally deleted this blog.
While clearing an older one out of MoveableType, callalillie simply disappeared. One moment I was approving the deletion of something obsolete. The next moment, my entire administrative panel was clear. At closer inspection, the database holding three years of callalillie had been completely wiped.
The problem was an old bug in MT-Blacklist. Apparently, when I deleted one blog from MT, the bug ate another. I only had two and that is how callalillie was ingested and then pooped out into the netherworld of SQL nothingness. The bug was fixed eons ago but I never a) knew about it nor b) bothered to upgrade because I did not have a problem.
Last night I sat on the train staring off into space, miserable and near tears, and tried to make sense of the loss. What struck me most was the incredible impermanence. Yes, backups can be made and content can be restored, but when it comes down to it, 1,381 posts spanning three years and two months were there one second and obliterated the next.
No matter how inane the content of this site can be, it has still served as a consistent repository for my thoughts. I often speak of place markers for memory. This site has served as such in my life. While visitors might stop to read the newest post of the day or perhaps rummage around the archives for something that Google led them to, I use it to look back. Through the images and written word I can detect exactly where I was a year or two ago. Through the silences of things unwritten, I can more accurately remember those moments that I chose not to share. When I thought about having to start again with a blank slate, I truly considered throwing in the towel.
Luckily, the AWESOME! team of Fictco came to the rescue, digging up a nightly backup from the server and restoring the database to its natural, content-scattered form. The crisis was averted but I must say that I am a little unnerved. Perhaps I will spend some time this summer thinking about how to capture some or all of these posts in a tangible form. While paper can be destroyed just as easily as digital, it somehow makes me feel safer.
Besides, how on earth would I recreate three years worth of Feline Musings?
Posted by callalillie at June 14, 2006 7:12 AM | Geek
, Introspect
Gah! That would have been horrible to lose everything. J and I were talking about this a few years ago, that someone needs to invent a way to capture and save entire blogs for safekeeping. Not just as a backup, but to make it like a document that someone in 200 or 1,000 years could look back and read. Think of how much we value insights into daily life from different eras and how much blogs vividly capture the everyday of this one. It seems they shouldn't be entirely losable.
Posted by: Liz at June 14, 2006 12:27 PM
I must say I can somewhat feel your pain. Although not 3years worth of intense and amazing journaling...I managed to "finally" wipe out my entire iPod collection. Yes...nearly 4,000 songs collected over the course of two years...GONE. Amazingly, I sucked it up, reset my iPod, and eagerly embarked on my new journey of music collection.
Posted by: mozaik at June 14, 2006 1:08 PM
I commiserate with your feeling of panic over losing the contents of your blog. When I migrated to WordPress in December, I was flying by the seat of my pants. After spending countless hours in untold frustration, I finally got it to work, then in a careless move brought on by sleeplessness accidentally deleted EVERYTHING by removing what I thought was a duplicate author.
I thought I would never blog again.
Thankfully, I was able to get it all re-migrated. I still keep the old Blogger site up because it has 3.5 years of posts.
I use my site now more than ever, to look back. Someone clipped an article for me about a service that takes all your blog posts and makes it into a book. The service is starting to look more and more appealing.
Posted by: Gail at June 14, 2006 1:10 PM
I am having the OPPOSITE issue...I've got someone leaving anon comments on one of my blogs and so I'm deleting large parts of that blog to "protect the identity of the innocent" so to speak. All I can feel is that everything I wrote is so permanent! Funny...
Posted by: Sue at June 14, 2006 2:17 PM
Can't you just delete their comments or block their IP?
Posted by: corie at June 14, 2006 3:35 PM
I love those Ficto people. They do good work. And they're swell too. I'm using them next time I need a real, professional site.
Perhaps I'll run into the two of you next week. I'm back in Brooklyn for one night only on Monday.
Posted by: Bill at June 14, 2006 5:05 PM
I hadn't finished reading your post all the way through but was ready to start sending you my memories of your posts in an effort to pastiche your blog back into being. Human institutional memory isn't the same, of course, but we wouldn't have abandoned you. =)
Welcome home!
Posted by: Beth at June 14, 2006 5:09 PM
Yes, This would feel like a lose of some life there. Recording your times and sharing with the world for so long only to thave it deleted away can make one feel, hm? cheated, maybe? Lost? Definitly not a good feeling though.
Posted by: William Fuentes at June 14, 2006 5:51 PM
that would be extremely traumatic if you lost all your old posts...i read them when i'm bored. haha
looks like mexico was fun! i had a good time as well, but i was over on the other side (playa del carmen) on the 5th through the 12th. amazing!
Posted by: seton at June 14, 2006 6:15 PM
I recently lost a couple years of my life (writing, pictures, my iTunes library) due to a horrible computer crash so I can relate to that feeling of panic. Thankfully you recovered the blog...
Posted by: Ashley at June 14, 2006 9:01 PM
On an unrelated subject, have you considered food allergies as the cause of Irving's red itchiness? I'm the proud owner of a cat who has been habitually scabby, patchy, itchy, and moist for the last year or so, and after many visits to the vet and shots of cortisone that only worked for 5 days, we discovered that she's allergic to her cat food. Just a thought. She now gets a special allergy formula that's made of organic green pea pods and venison.
Posted by: agent em at June 15, 2006 12:19 PM
mental note, back up blog tonight.
Posted by: tien at June 15, 2006 12:26 PM
