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| Covering the Eye
November 11, 2005
Continuing with the Subway Gripe...
I have seen many a person fall asleep on the train. In fact, I do so on a daily basis; however, I, like most, manage to find that equilibrium between unconsciousness and New Yorke alertness. There is a method to such slumber. You can sense when someone wedges themselves into the seat next to you. You can reflexively keep your head from falling into your neighbor. In short, the train is not your living room couch. You know that and control yourself accordingly.
Yesterday morning I boarded the train to find two vacant seats—one truly unoccupied, the other obstructed by a sleeping man’s knees, which were diagonally splayed in such a manner that one had to climb over them to navigate the aisle. Stupidly, I chose the second seat from him, as I had a heavy book to read for class and did not want to face the 40-minute ride on my feet. The double seat distance, I thought, could only afford a little more room for both of us.
Wrong.
In the following hour, the train grew steadily more crowded, to the point that I could neither change seats nor stand. During this time, the diagonally sleeping man repeatedly slid sideways from his seat onto me, his head colliding with my shoulders.
The first few bounces inspired mere annoyance. I shrugged my shoulders and twitched my arms, rousing him only enough to straighten his body into the diagonal splay once more. He would barely open his eyes, mutter something incoherent, and fall right back into unconsciousness. Then, a few stops before I was to get off, sleeping man slid once more, this time landing face first IN MY LAP. This time, I hit him.
He jerked up with one eye open, half exclaiming “What the fuck?” What the fuck is right, bucko, I am not your momma and I surely am not your fucking couch. He glared, finally apologized and then fell asleep once more.
Thankfully, it was time to switch trains. A man who had just boarded eagerly took my seat. I thought to warn him but the 1 was across the platform. Hurrying across to catch it, I could not help but hope that when the sleeping man landed face first in the new patron’s crotch, he might receive more of a smack than I was able to render.
So glad that it is Friday. No more trains for me until Monday.
Posted by callalillie at November 11, 2005 9:21 AM | City Life
, This is Not Your Living Room
, WTF?
it was a total come on. you should check craig's list's missed connections. "looking for girl with heavy book. i put my face in your lap. it was almost heavenly. until i got smacked."
Posted by: tien at November 11, 2005 9:42 AM
i-2-a-few-times already have had a Head land on my Shoulder on the train but never have had a Head land on my Lap Lander on the train. Maybe he was into the extreme sport of train sleeping?
Posted by: William at November 11, 2005 5:26 PM
Hi. That's just to say you have a brand new fan. In Italy.
Come to see my blog!
Posted by: Ltn Colonel Kurtz at November 13, 2005 8:59 PM
