These Objects of My Affection |
Main
| Yes, it is a Little Late
April 28, 2005
Dusk
I have a very good memory. Still, throughout life I have found myself collecting tactile reminders of moments. There is the pebble I picked up from the ground as my best friend’s bus rumbled away, one day prior to her leaving for Africa, which I took out nearly every week that she was gone, and the seed pod pocketed during a beautiful walk with a friend days before I graduated. There is even the small washer that I keep in a box on my bed, symbolic of a conversation long passed, simple and uneventful, but cherished between two childhood friends.
From time to time, I take out those tactile memories. I hold them, touch their intricacies, and fall back into the moment. The objects are placeholders. They transport me, remind me of where I was at one exact moment in time, and help project, like a beacon, into the future.
The past few weeks have been marked with big life decisions. There have been bouts of tears and affirmations of a bright, bursting future. The days have been hard work, as they should be, as that is what living life is all about. Yesterday, the first of a string of decisions were made. Oddly, despite the heartache of pending distance, the relief of finality has calmed us both. On Tuesday, Lex will depart for several months of work on location.
Could you do me a silly favor? I asked, as we walked briskly toward Red Hook.
This weekend, before you go, could we stop at one of those cheap sidewalk stands and get fake wedding rings? You know, the ten dollar ones. Just as placeholders. I want to be able to touch something symbolic of you, to carry it with me every day that you are gone.
You mean the kind that turns your finger green? he asked, eyes laughing.
Yes, that’s perfect. It will mark the time, literally.
Sure, honey, he said softly, blinking wide eyes, and I took his arm as we navigated the streets of South Brooklyn, crossing the canal.
We cut through Red Hook Park en route to Van Brunt. It was empty, save a dissipating soccer practice. There was a mist swaddling benches and trees, their arms now awash with brilliant green.
It’s dusk. It’s the first dusk!, I exclaimed, and we stopped to take out our cameras. I stared through my viewfinder, searching for a shot. Behind me, Lex rummaged in his backpack.
Let me lean on you, I asked, placing my elbow on his shoulder to steady the camera.
I want to give you something, he said as the shutter clicked, and as I turned I saw a box, and within it, a ring.
I have never been a sucker for tradition. But at that moment—a this moment—as life choices swarm and we swim in the first of many overwhelming periods of adult uncertainty, that beautiful, simple tactile object was the exact placeholder that my heart was seeking, not as a reminder of the past, but as a brilliant symbol of one precious moment and, of course, years of mist-filled dusks destined to be discovered.
Posted by callalillie at April 28, 2005 9:08 AM | Introspect
, La Familia
, The Year of Change
sucks that he's going to be gone so long. where's he going? a place that you can visit, i hope.
Posted by: tien at April 28, 2005 10:29 AM
Posted by: citycrab at April 28, 2005 10:33 AM
yes, totally visitable. much better than another option, which involved being AT SEA. we shall be racking up a lot of frequent flyer miles this summer. i have no idea how i will transport 4 cats on a plane (KIDDING).
Posted by: corie at April 28, 2005 10:41 AM
Oh, sniff sniff! How nice
Posted by: Liz at April 28, 2005 10:47 AM
Posted by: India at April 28, 2005 11:10 AM
This is beautiful. Congratulations to you both.
(Soren says you two look very sweet together.)
Posted by: Velma at April 28, 2005 11:59 AM
This is so beautiful. My favorite part is where you say, let me lean on you. That is just wonderful.
Posted by: gorjus at April 28, 2005 12:10 PM
this whole lovey dovey at dusk thing is cute and all, but where's the ring girl? bust it out! Uncle Jason needs to approve!
Posted by: jason at April 28, 2005 2:10 PM
excuse me but where's the picture of the ring? that is so so romantic. you are one lucky gal.
Posted by: Nancy at April 28, 2005 3:38 PM
Oh yes! Well, I did tear-up as usual, but this time for a wonderful reason. So romantic!!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Maybe, but your hearts seem quite fond already.
Posted by: Vickie at April 28, 2005 4:29 PM
that's awesome. Good luck with the separation thing - I'm sure having something to hold will help...and the reunion will be AWESOME. :-)
Posted by: carrster at April 28, 2005 5:57 PM
How beautiful is that?!?!?!
O.k.
Now you've got me crying.
Posted by: Liz at April 28, 2005 6:33 PM
Posted by: discostu at April 29, 2005 7:26 AM
