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February 4, 2005
The Most Effective Form of Birth Control
I spent the bulk of yesterday babysitting for my "nephew" Dimsum so that his mommy could be with her husband at the hospital. I didn’t think much about anything when I announced that I was coming over to help—I would do anything for EFH, and babysitting is probably one of the easiest things on the list.
After a few tips on how to change a little boy’s diaper without being peed on, Dimsum and I said goodbye to Mommy and Grandma and we were on our own.
We spent the day dancing—first to the inane yet incredibly soothing Sing-a-long & Lullabies cassette tape that came with Dimsum’s formula, then to the Temptations [after the third listening of The Farmer and the Dell in singsong hippy voice I wanted to hang myself]—sucking down bottles and burping, having complex discussions about Bush’s Social Security Plan [Dimsum had a surprising neutral take on this], passing gas, and sleeping. At one point, we played with this bizarre Baby Einstein caterpillar that, when you squeezed one of its segments, screamed BLAHHHHHH! Dragon! over and over again [okay, so I kept pressing it—the noise was strange and quite entertaining]. The day went just fine. Dimsum avoided peeing in my eye and I did not drop him—not once.
At some point, probably during the eight-millionth time I tried to eat his tummy, the magnitude of having a child hit me. I propped my chin up on the couch and looked this adorable little boy in his eyes. I realized that I had spent the entire day talking in baby babble. I hadn’t showered. I had been wearing one of his shearling baby hats with ears around the house since morning. EFH’s voice rang in my head This is what my days are like. I removed the too-small ear hat off of my head and propped Dimsum so that he could play with his kick toy more easily. Goodness gracious, I thought. Your life really does change forever.
Which is why, when EFH’s father called later that day and asked how I was going with the baby, I replied Oh, he’s lovely and we’re fine, but I do think that I am engaging in the most effective form of birth control ever.
Posted by callalillie at February 4, 2005 2:43 AM | Introspect
, La Familia
Posted by: tien at February 4, 2005 9:54 AM
well, if i was, i certainly passed it faster than the little boy i was watching. it's amazing how long it takes for babies to de-gas...
Posted by: corie at February 4, 2005 10:18 AM
oh, how did his nickname come about?
Posted by: tien at February 4, 2005 11:07 AM
the first three litters of his real name are dim...he looked like a dumpling when he was born...and i'm not really sure how that evolved into dimsum, but that's what i call him!
Posted by: corie at February 4, 2005 11:22 AM
Oops, sorry dooce, I was looking for callalillie.com... oh, wait. ;)
I hope EFH's husband is doing well.
Posted by: matt at February 4, 2005 11:47 AM
maternal CFH? That's insane. Completely unreal. Like my heart, I thought your womb had turned black and cold.
What's up?
Posted by: jason at February 4, 2005 12:29 PM
I DO have a biological clock, you know. It just hasn't gone off yet.
Posted by: corie at February 4, 2005 12:39 PM
I sort of feel like I should chime in with something at this point, but then again...
maybe i'll just stay quiet and enjoy the cute baby.
Posted by: Alexis at February 4, 2005 12:56 PM
one thing at a time, buddy, one thing at a time.
Posted by: corie at February 4, 2005 2:13 PM
What are you talking about?
I was referring to the "passing gas".
:P
Posted by: Alexis at February 4, 2005 2:26 PM
Posted by: corie at February 4, 2005 4:58 PM
Everytime I feel my biological clock tick tick ticking away, I babysit my 3 year old god-son and even though his smile, dimples and big curious brown-eyes steal my heart - his obsession for turning really expensive electronics off and on, and sticking things in the DVD, VCR, oven, mailshoot, toilet, washing machine, his nose, his pamper, etc. can be a BIT exhausting. After only a couple hours of playing with my little pumpkin head, I feel like I have a toddler hang-over for days.
Posted by: jenn at February 5, 2005 1:21 AM
Matt - :D hehe!
My friend has a 3 month old little boy, who's unique skill is to be the first baby ever to make my ovaries twinge (apart from Leta, of course). His mum says I'm very good at burping him...
Posted by: domino at February 5, 2005 5:31 AM
these might be the most abstract baby photos i've ever seen. i like it!
Posted by: rion at February 5, 2005 1:20 PM
heh. it was a selective process-- hiding the face until his mommy gives me permission to reveal it fully! :)
Posted by: corie at February 5, 2005 8:43 PM
I think that Dimsum needs a Callalillie hat! By the way, the bio clock tick tocking get louder and more annoying or compelling (depending on your mood.)
Posted by: ginni at February 6, 2005 12:58 PM
