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June 28, 2004
Forgotten Love
We all have our lost era. For some it might have been a year, for others, a decade. These are times that, for some reason—organic or environmental—we lose sight of our passions. There might be a day, years later, that something triggers a memory deep within. The piece of yourself reopens; you look at it with the same eyes but a different lens. Perhaps you will smile at the memory, laugh, and remember how fascinated you were with something. Or maybe, like me, you will stand stock-still, awestruck at your ignorance, and wonder how in the world you lost touch with that piece of yourself.
Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up?
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be an archaeologist. I was never interested in dinosaurs or the folklore and stories about far away places. I was fascinated with pottery shards, slivers of rock, decrepit buildings—basically, the past’s garbage. I have always yearned to know the intimate details of who lived where, when, and how. I spent hours in the woods behind my house digging, gluing together broken pieces of pottery, and reading books about 19th century china patterns and Civil War button designs. I developed a habit of always looking down when I walked with the hopes of finding something sticking out of the earth (this is a habit that I have forced myself to break in recent years, as NYC artifacts are inarguably found spray painted on walls or etched into the cornices of buildings).
You would think that such a passion for the past would be hard to forget. Oddly, however, I completely lost sight of this love. Somewhere between the middle of high school and a year or two after my college graduation, my consciousness about this fascination disappeared into thin air. I entered college as an unenthusiastic English major. I remember briefly looking at the Archaeology curriculum and asking myself what kind of job would I ever get with a degree in Archaeology? (you would think I would have asked the same question about English). That was my last thought about Anthropology/Archaeology for nearly seven years(Note: I did take an Intro to Anthropology class, however it was so bone-achingly boring that I literally did a happy dance when it was over. In retrospect, it was a horrible professor, not a bad class).
While I wound up majoring in Education, my interests were always found within the history of the practice—again, the communities and people that partook in various pedagogical practices, the evolution of (American) education itself. My mind did not return to Anthropology it until I had lived in NYC for a few years. Then it came back with a vengeance.
We visited two incredible archeological sites while in Santa Fe—the Pecos Pueblo ruins/Pecos National Historical Park and the pueblo ruins at Bandelier National Park. Both are active sites, meaning that to this day archaeologists are still excavating and reconstructing/repairing ruins. Both were spectacular (see below posts for the history). While I walked through the sites I was overwhelmed by the complexities of the civilizations—and equally as awed by the fact that they are no longer in existence, save scattered adobe bricks and empty cave dwellings.
Throughout the entire visit, all I wanted to do was turn back time and major in Anthropology. I know that it is never too late to follow a dream, but obviously, dreams are not reality, and my reality is affording life in New York, shouldering a mortgage, and not going back to grad school any time soon. Would anyone like to sponsor a late-blooming BA student?
Posted by callalillie at June 28, 2004 9:27 PM | History
, Introspect
not to bastardize your insightful post or anything... but what exactly does your happy dance look like? i think we need to see a photo series on that!
Posted by: tien at June 28, 2004 8:53 AM
:) I think that it involved a Ren & Stimpyesque "Happy Happy Joy Joy" romp around the campus lawn.
Posted by: corie at June 28, 2004 8:59 AM
i have a happy dance, around food == LOL
i wanted to be a math teacher when i was growing up. somehow, that manifested in becoming an accountant, and now in ed reform. funny how life takes its turns. now i am thinking of grad school, i wonder if it is for all the right reasons. it is that eternal chase, i wish i knew in my teens/twenties what i know now.
Posted by: skutchie at June 28, 2004 11:45 AM
you could always still be a math teacher.
do you really need a "right" reason to go to graduate school? the way i see it is that grad school, unless mandated (like teacher certification, etc) should be reserved for something that you love to do or really want to study. i think that is open to interpretation, though. if and when i can ever afford to go back to school, i want to be able to throw myself into it as much as possible. i think that's what makes me so sad that i didn't study something like archaeology in undergrad-- i had the time to really get involved in something without adult worries.
Posted by: corie at June 28, 2004 11:55 AM
I love history. All kinds. Good on ya!
Posted by: ccs178 at June 28, 2004 7:02 PM
So ar you saying that you'll fund my second BA? Cuz if you are, I'll love you forever.
Posted by: corie at June 28, 2004 10:07 PM
Define: Fund, love and forever. =:-O
Posted by: ccs178 at June 29, 2004 1:35 AM
Hmm...
Fund = pay for, monetarily
Love + forever = pure, unadulterated academic nerdism, dedicated to you, my benefactor.
Posted by: corie at June 29, 2004 7:57 AM
I don't think graduate school would be that fun... I'd prefer a second B.A. And I'd study Astronomy and learn about how mind-bogglingly big, unfathomably splendorous the universe is. I would go to office hours, raise my hand during lecture, maybe wear one of those t-shirts that say 'You are here.'
Posted by: inkoo at June 29, 2004 10:21 AM
If that is not the best propositon I've ever received then I don't know what is. Would if I could, dearheart. I can't think of a better way to invest money, but I have to actually have money to invest it. I'm sorry I can't be your academic white knight. :_(
Posted by: ccs178 (Chris) at June 29, 2004 11:59 AM
Reading your posts about NM have made me so happy! I am a huge history buff (ancient north american through american revolution...primarily) but LOVE the idea of exploring past cultures through their garbage, cast offs, ruins, etc. Have you ever visited Chaco Canyon in NM? Fascinating place - ROADS TO A CENTER PLACE is a great book which explains it all - if you're a geek like me you might enjoy it although I guess it's probably pretty dry/academic. Anyway - I'm rambling but your post made me so happy! Read a great article in Smithsonian a couple years back about urban archeology and I was walking with my head down reading man-hole covers, water mains, grates, etc for months. we humans are fascinating creatures......
Posted by: carrster at June 29, 2004 2:11 PM
When I was little, I wanted to become a vet. My dad would tease, "A war vet?" NO, a veterinarian! Oh yeah, and I only wanted to work with dogs, and I wanted to play with the dogs, and have my office be a wide open field! I took a few "see what a vet does" classes while in high school, but that was about it.
These days I still listen to Wisconsin Public Radio's show, Calling All Pets with great enjoyment. I think an animal behaviorist job would be so interesting and fun!
Ok, I gotta go and work my shift at the gas station now.
Posted by: matt at June 29, 2004 7:47 PM
There should be an annual "Switch jobs for a day" event. You should be able to choose your interest and then shadow someone...or just take over...kinda like Principal for a Day. Except you can't make any major decisions...b/c if you could, half the country would be in line for President for a Day.
Posted by: corie at June 29, 2004 8:00 PM
