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April 4, 2004
The Good Jeans
My jeans are dying. It’s not a good situation.
I found them at the Gap on 5th Avenue and 54th Street on a whim. I knew from the moment I saw them, without even trying them on, that they were perfect. I’d never seen that style of jeans at the Gap before. The cross between stovepipe jeans and sailor pants met every requirement I’d ever had. When I went back the next day, thinking that I really should invest in a second pair, they were gone. You’d think that one behind-the-curve Gap somewhere in the city would have had them, but alas…not one store.
You see, buying jeans is my least favorite activity of all time. It’s not a fear of halogen lit dressing rooms or that a size will or will not fit. It’s simply that my denim demands exceed what is offered in common 21st century style. You’d think I’d be happy about the fact that jeans have been low cut and flared these days, as those are two of the many requirements that I have. Understand, however, that I don’t like thongs…and even if I did, I doubt I’d offer it up to you so easily. Because lately, I haven’t been able to find a pair of pants that don’t completely reveal my anal seam to the world when I bend over. Furthermore, I’ve also had trouble locating jeans that I don’t need a shoehorn to get them on and off. Whatever happened to stovepipe legged jeans? Sailor pants? Hip-huggers with room for actual legs? Sheesh.
Regardless, I want to know why the Gap teased me so by making these jeans for about a month and then never, ever selling them again. I’m wounded. Perhaps I need to rewind time and join the Navy in 1950.
Posted by callalillie at April 4, 2004 10:29 PM | WTF?
Posted by: tien at April 5, 2004 9:30 AM
yeah, i grappled with what the right term for butt crack might be...
Posted by: corie at April 5, 2004 9:36 AM
I feel your pain. I recently ripped a huge hole in the exact same spot (a giant rent across the ass right below the pocket) of both of the only pairs of jeans I own that fit me, and both of which I bought at a thrift shop because, for some reason, those crazy styles the kids are wearing these days just don't appeal to me. Besides the anal seam issue (heh), try finding something without giant white stripes down the thighs or weird yellow spotting across your butt. Tis tragic.
Posted by: abby at April 5, 2004 11:15 AM
I think I might have bought out all of the thrift shop bootleg Levis while in high school...those were the best, and they never ressurected them quite right.
Posted by: corie at April 5, 2004 11:51 AM
i feel like my ass/thighs are not porportionate to my waist size and i can never never never find jeans that are both comforatable and look good. my problem is that by the time i find ones that fit my ass they're gaping out around my waist in the back. it sucks so much. and low rise is no good for me. always way too tight. .. they just don't fit right. maybe i should lose some weight in my backside.. or maybe the people who make jeans should just realize that we're not all twigs.
Posted by: rachelle at April 5, 2004 12:47 PM
Word up. And what's up with size 00? I went to Abercrombie and Fitch a while back and noticed their whack-ass sizing. Things are labeled smaller sizes than they really are. Who ever heard of 000? That's pre-teen.
Posted by: corie at April 5, 2004 12:55 PM
Dear Ms. Trancho,
Thank you for your recent e-mail. Unfortunately, the Flap Pocket Indigo
Flare, item #121712, you are looking for is from a previous season and
is no longer available. We frequently bring popular products back, and
we will share your desire to see this product in the future with our
Merchandising Team.
In the meantime, you might find the Stretch Flare Jeans to be a suitable
alternative. You can find this item in the Women's Jeans/Cords section
of our website, under the heading of Flare Fit. We hope this
information was helpful to you, and look forward to
shopping with you again soon at gap.com:
http://gap.m0.net/m/s.asp?HB6042184347X1318823X106370X
If we can be of any further assistance, please e-mail us at
custserv@gap.com or by calling 1-800-GAP-STYLE. Our Customer Service
Consultants are available 24 hours a day for your convenience.
Sincerely,
Sue
Customer Service Consultant
NO, THE STRETCH FLARE FIT JEANS ARE NOT SUITABLE!
Bring 'em back! Oh, the horrors.
Posted by: corie at April 5, 2004 12:56 PM
I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE STOVEPIPE FOUR YEARS. I AM A BLACK WOMAN AND THEY ARE THE ONLY JEANS THAT FLATTER ME. I DID BUY THREE PAIR WHEN I SAW THEM IN THE EXPRESS A FEW YEARS BACK. THEY STOP CARRYING THEM. WHAT ABOUT THE BIG ROUND BOTTOM BEAUTIES.
Posted by: EURETTA at May 3, 2004 9:47 PM
well u dont have to be twigs to wear size 00. I'm totally no twig (i usually wear size 5 and some times even 7)but surprisingly I fit into 00 twice! Alot of us (bigger women) are hating or lashing out at skinny women, but really some (not all but most) of them can't control the fact thier skinny. Sometimes its just illness or sometimes thier metabolism is too fast.My younger niece is 15 and she is very skinny cause she's sick.
Posted by: BigGirl at June 19, 2004 1:06 AM
