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January 16, 2004
Now THAT's Mail II
I couldn't resist and opened the freaky piece of mail that arrived in my box this Tuesday. I must report that it's better than I'd ever imagined.
I'm not quite sure how to summarize it all, so I’m providing a trusty PDF here. There are a lot of rules and guidelines and I certainly wouldn't want you to miss any.
Here's the gist (as translated into sanity by me):
This is a chain letter. Inside this envelope we've provided you with an 8 1/2" x 17" newspaper-stock, two-toned image of Jesus with his eyes closed. This is a prayer rug. We want your to stare at Jesus' face until you go cross-eyed, whereupon Jesus' eyes will open (via optical illusion). Think you're blessed now? Wrong. Now you need to put this "prayer rug" on the floor and kneel on it.
Once you've done this, please refer to our enclosed letter (the PDF) where you must check off your needs. Then and only then can you fold the "prayer rug" back up and mail it back to the St. Matthew's Church of Freak with your completed checklist.
Wow. What a wonderful spiritual gift. I think that I might cry.
Posted by callalillie at January 16, 2004 12:49 PM | WTF?
Gosh, I feel blessed just reading the letter. Are you going to return it with a prayer (even though your 24-hr window of opportunity has elapsed)?
Posted by: joe s at January 16, 2004 1:32 PM
Aren't you getting a lot of religious chain letters lately?
Posted by: abby at January 16, 2004 1:38 PM
i wanna see Optical Illusion Jesus!
Posted by: Jimmy Legs at January 16, 2004 1:53 PM
a prayer rug? how can a piece of paper be a rug?!?
Posted by: tien at January 16, 2004 1:54 PM
tien, that's what i thought. abby, this is just the content of the previously blogged religious chain letter. it's my first one and i feel very priviledged. i'll try and scan the "prayer rug" today if i have time-- it's worth it. but jimmylegs, if i do it i expect to see a photo soon of it hanging by your bedside.
Posted by: corie at January 16, 2004 2:47 PM
You do realize that if you send it back, you will get more stuff like this. It might just be worth it.
Also pray for (please print): Religious wack jobs to stop preying on the gullible, stupid and ignorant while at the same time mutating a message that is generally steeped in tolerance of others so that it seems to call for hatred, intolerance and bigotry.
Posted by: Bill at January 16, 2004 3:27 PM
maybe this will be the inspiration ineed to buy a damn printer. i've been paperless since my ex-girlfriend took the printer!
Posted by: Jimmy Legs at January 16, 2004 3:30 PM
I noticed that there is no option to choose "Pray for my family and me for:
( ) NO MORE RELIGIOUS JUNK MAIL
or
( ) A PRAYER RUG THAT ACTUALLY FITS UNDER MY COFFEE TABLE
or
( ) JESUS TO DO MY TAXES
or
( ) A ONE BEDROOM FOR $1,000 / MONTH
That said, you should know that in 18 years of Catholic upbringing and in the 37 years since I escaped, your Grandmother has NEVER asked me to cross my eyes in order to see God.
If I'd only known....
Posted by: bobtrancho at January 16, 2004 3:30 PM
I thought I'd send mine back, exchanging the current Penthouse Pet centerfold for the prayer rug; maybe include a few well placed lotion stains ... ?
Posted by: JediCodeWarrior at January 18, 2004 11:32 AM
This is my first posting here...I got this mailing too...I typed "paper prayer rug eyes of jesus" into Google to see what would happen...and here I am...
After a little more sleuthing I found this other site; info on the guy who probably sent out the mailing:
http://www.loper.org/~george/trends/2003/Apr/815.html
Maybe I have too much time on my hands... ;-)
Posted by: ohiotigger at January 21, 2004 3:13 PM
Posted by: corie at January 26, 2004 9:45 AM
i JUST RECEIVED ONE OF THOSE AND JUST CHECKED OFF A FEW THINGS AND MAILED IT BACK WITH NO MONEY!!! I NOTICED THE LETTER SAID TO PLACE THE RUG IN YOUR BIBLE IN PHILLIPANS CHAPTER 4. IT DID NOT SAY WHICH PHILLIPIANS 1 OR 2. SO I WENT TO GOOGLE.
Posted by: C at March 16, 2004 8:55 PM
Damn I received the prayer rug. I'm 18. I wrote Jesus a message and hung him up on my wall.
Posted by: KyM at March 18, 2004 5:21 PM
Posted by: Ashley at March 18, 2004 5:24 PM
