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December 13, 2003
Something’s Gotta Give
There was something about Something’s Gotta Give that made me want to plug my ears shut and curl into the fetal position. Oh wait, I think I did that at one point, between the times that I pulled my hat over my eyes and when I buried my face in Cheesebus’ shoulder in a desperate attempt to shut out the audio and visual trauma.
Let’s back up a nudge.
I’m not a big fan of Jack Nicholson—he plays the same pathetic older man with an unbearable hint of charm in every movie. It’s what he’s good at. I’d venture to think that he doesn’t really need to act to achieve the part. But I do like Diane Keaton. Honestly, there’s something about her that has always reminded me of my mother (remember what I just said—I’ll come back to it). She was my idol in Baby Boom.
Speaking of baby boomers…
Cheesebus and I should have suspected something when we were the only movie patrons under 50 in the theatre. Had we read the movie reviews more carefully, we would have known that the entire film catered to the 50+ crowd. How so? Let’s just say Viagra, Viagra, Viagra.
Nothing can quite capture the sheer horror of witnessing a) 60+ year old Jack Nicholson’s bare, saggy, and wrinkly ass crack, b) 50+ year old Diane Keaton fully frontally nude, and c) Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton, getting it on all in the same movie. Did I mention that I’ve always associated Diane Keaton with my mother?
I could say many things about Something’s Gotta Give, but the fact that both of my parents do peek in on this blog every now and then, I’ll zip it quick.
However, I will leave this one word to the wise: watching that movie is akin to walking in on/hearing your parents engage in naughty nook-nook. While the experience happens to most kids at least once, we don’t shell out $8.50 plus popcorn to watch it.
I need to go watch several hours of mindless TV to try and wipe those images and sounds from my head. Oy vey.
*As a side thought, I must say that if I look anything like Diane Keaton when I'm 55, I'll be quite happy. Also, I managed to get through the film by focusing on the magnificent kitchen in Keaton's character's Hamptons house. There was an All-Clad kettle that I would die for. Thank goodness for that kitchen...when experiencing traumatic events, it's always good to have a safe space to retreat to.
Posted by callalillie at December 13, 2003 10:26 PM | WTF?
hey, my parents never engage in naughty nook-nook. i firmly believe that and will never be convinced otherwise.
yeah, the image of jack and diane naked...not pleasant.
Posted by: tien at December 13, 2003 10:54 PM
hmm. i sense from your initial reaction to my post that this movie might evoke some difficult feelings in you. but then again, does your mom resemble diane keaton? i must repeat that this factor made things 10x worse.
Posted by: corie at December 14, 2003 7:52 AM
